Home Is With You
by TastingLatte
Summary: Sebastian is called away to his home, leaving the Head Maid and Head Steward in charge of looking after the Master, Cook, and Gardener at Phantomhive Manor. Waiting for his return, Mey-Rin delves into what really is happening at the Manor for all these years, and how she and the rest of the servants must fight for their Master, the Head Butler, their home, and even her own heart.
1. Chapter 1

**Another Gen Sebastian/Mey-Rin for ya. I think it's easy to see how these two could be friends and more... if Sebastian indulged** **May-Rin and she would quit hero worshiping/nose bleeding... who are we all kidding? We are all somewhat secretly Mey-Rin...**

* * *

 _Late March, 1892_

There was a stillness in the air as the moon was clouded. For one more night, the dark clouds dominated the sky once more. Nothing moved, or breathed, as Mey-Rin quietly darted over the roof, her eyes missing nothing as she scanned the ground far below. The curve of the entry road was empty. No one was standing in the shadows. Nothing was out of place. But her heart still would not still. There was a fear in her veins and it pounded in her ears. She crouched and used her scope to scan a darker patch, wishing, once more, that she was not alone in this nightly routine. She heard a small sound and she turned; Bard was opening one of the containers of bullets. He shot her a half apologetic smile, half nod. They were now a tight team and they would do anything to keep the Phantomhive Manor together.

Even as their home and lives fell apart.

Even as the trees far away were being invaded and parted, the march to defend the parts they had been tasked to defend, started as the moon was once more unobscured, bathing the Manor in almost unholy light.

* * *

 _Six months previous, October, 1891_

Mey-Rin sat on the stool, half asleep as Bard and Finny were chatting about the newest trees and flowers. She loved looking and smelling them, but talking about them? And for hours on end? She shook her head and tried to focus on their conversation.

"But Mister Sebastian said to prune it back to almost the center, but then the young master didn't want to loose the flowers, so I only did half, and now it's not growing," Finny said. He sighed and leaned his head on his hand. "If it needs to be pruned to grow, the flowers are taking too much food from the process. I read it in a book from the library the other day."

"You went into the library? Sheesh, how did you manage to get back out?" Bard said, laughing. Mey-Rin blinked a bit and saw Finny frowning and then shaking his head and sticking his tongue out at the cook. The men were constantly teasing one another with barbs at their respective abilities.

She slipped away from the kitchen and the boys as they continued to taunt each other; it was still mildly light outside so she decided to go for a walk in the gardens that the boys were bickering about. She slipped off her apron and hung it beside the door, pushed the door open and stepped into the early autumn evening. Mey-Rin stood in the small patch of dying light and closed her eyes; she had been cleaning the east wing all day in preparation for the Fall Ball that Earl Ciel Phantomhive, the young master, put on annually. The cooler air and warm sun seemed to dance over her skin and Mey-Rin let out a small, satisfied sigh. She was finally slowly waking up once more.

She walked to the bench on the far end of the garden, where she would often sit and watch the birds flit around the trees, or admire how neatly the grass was trimmed around the rose bushes that was perfectly round and always trimmed with care. The Manor and the grounds were always being worked on, and she and the other servants always had something to do. This quiet moment, Mey-Rin thought cautiously as she shoved her heavy laden glasses into her hair, was a stolen moment she wanted as hers. She leaned back into the dying light, letting it dance over her face and closed her eyes. It was the small things like being able to not worry about anyone coming and getting her, or the Manor being attacked, that she placed deep into her memory. Because lately, they were getting fewer and fewer.

A shadow made her start and she reached under her skirt for the gun she carried and in a heartbeat whirled around, whipped it out, and trained it.

"Sebastian!" she stuttered as she un-cocked her gun and shoved it back into its hidden place. She reached up and tried to get her glasses out of her hair but they were stuck.

"I am sorry to disturb you, Mey-Rin," the tall butler said smoothly. He smiled a bit and reached up to her head to unwind a piece of hair that held her glasses in place. He handed the glasses to her but did not let go. "Mey-Rin," he said again. "I need your assistance on something."

"Me? You… you want me?"

"Yes, of course. I need you to help me watch over the young master."

"But I do already, Mister Sebastian," she said, now blushing as his fingers seemed to be more than just brushing hers as they still held the glasses by the ear piece near the same spot. She tried not to stare at it, or his fingers, or think about the way it sent a small rush into her, her cheeks slowly flaming. "Do I not do a good enough job?"

"You do a splendid job, I need you to help me when I am gone."

"Gone?" she squeaked. A quick look from Sebastian and she ducked her head and repeated the word a bit lower. "Gone? But where are you going?"

"I have been… summoned back home."

"Home?" She squinted, trying to remember where that was. She didn't even know where hers was; beyond the brick walls and the Manor, she had none. She frowned at the Head Butler for a moment.

"Home," he repeated. "I am unsure when I am leaving, but I need to make sure that the young master is well taken care of, and you and Tanaka are the two I trust the most to do so."

"Me? But I am a maid!"

"No, you are more than a maid," he said, a pointed look at her glasses and a lingering gaze on her bare eyes. "Please stop saying that you are only a maid." He sighed and let go of the glasses and turned away. Mey-Rin slid them on and wrinkled her nose; the weight was giving her a headache, but she wasn't sure she wanted to see Sebastian's outline so sharply.

"Why are you going home? Where is home?"

She watched as the black outline turned broad, letting her know that he was facing her. "A far away place that isn't as nice as here. And I was told I had to come back. My… task is being called into question."

"But surely after eight years you have been here at the Manor, you have accomplished it - or working on it mightily hard," she said, thinking what he could be referring to. "You don't have anything undone, as far as I know. If anything, you do some of our work as well." She giggled, "Especially Bard. I always hope he will learn to cook someday," she added wistfully. "But until then, at least we know you are cooking eatable meals."

Sebastian gave a breathy laugh. "Yes, there is that. And yes, I do complete all that is required of me by the young master, however…" he trailed off and Mey-Rin started to stand, not sure if she was to hear something only the Head Butler should say to someone else, someone much more qualified to hear and know his thoughts, but soon felt the steady hand on her shoulder, telling her to sit back on the bench. The small creak indicated he too was sitting once more beside her. Mey-Rin tried to control her breathing. Even after all the years they had worked together, the closer they were physically still made her school-girl heart flood with excitement. And the fact that they were far from the wondering and gossiping eyes of the others, who were sure she would fold one day and fling herself into his arms on purpose, didn't help her nerves as she listened to Sebastian's soft breaths, her own seeming to come in gasps. She was an expert in falling, and falling into his arms particularly, she reminded herself, as she breathed finally deeply; falling down stairs and into his arms was sort of her thing.

"I have enjoyed my time here," he said finally. "It has been… interesting to say the least. But now we are on the verge of a new century, on the verge of so much more that we can do. But," he sighed and seemed to turn to Mey-Rin, "where I am from, one doesn't get to leisurely watch and enjoy things. It's rather… chaotic."

"So that's why you don't mind when we mess things up or the young master changes his plans," Mey-Rin replied almost playfully. She remembered who she was and who he was and clamped her hand over her mouth. "ImsosorryIshouldnothavesaidanything!"

The hand came back to rest on her right shoulder and she felt his arm around her back. She almost fled, but the hand on her shoulder was firm and kept her in the seat beside him. She was surprised; he seemed utterly relaxed.

"It does remind me a bit of home, but you are all so special to me. Home, well, the place I'm from, isn't as nice and there isn't anyone, anything, special. Just… a lot of pain. Which could be nice at times, but it's too much for me." He gave a laugh as if his private thoughts were surfacing. "I am a weak one for sure… I've taken what I wanted, and have traded it for the comforts of here, of now, of this… of this human life." He turned and suddenly Mey-Rin's glasses were once more in his hands. He cupped her chin and looked at her with his strange red eyes. "I have traded my life there for this."

Mey-Rin was sure her nose would burst, was sure her face would be too scarlet, was sure he would pull away. But nothing happened and she relaxed a bit, just looked at his handsome, beautiful face. He was looking at her, just looking and not moving much more that the slow blinks and a slow smile spreading over his lips. She wasn't sure when his hands had moved from her shoulder and chin to her cheeks but they were there, burning slowly into her cheeks.

"Mister Sebastian?" she asked softly.

"I don't want to have to leave. It's so peaceful - this moment, with you. The young master and the others. But… I have to. I wish I could…"

She blinked and wasn't sure why he was saying anything; it wasn't his place to have to say anything to her. She was only a maid. Even if he did not see her as only a maid, he had to see her as below him. Below in status, below in importance. Below in beauty. She ducked her head and felt his fingers pull her back up to look at him.

"I trust you with this. All of what I am saying - because I shouldn't say any of it. Not to you. The young master knows so much about me, and I know there is still so much he doesn't and you hardly know me at all. But I am more than 'Mister Sebastian.' I am more than this shell, more than a pretty face," he added as her blush finally crept back into her cheeks. "I will try to make sure you know when I leave before I do. And if I have to leave suddenly, please let the young master know that I didn't want to leave without having him adequately prepared for my departure - have him know I am protecting him even from far away. And I am… well I am here until I am called."

"I'm sure he knows. You have been here for all of us. And the young master - he isn't a small boy anymore. He is soon to be 19, a man. And he will be married soon. He will have Lady Elizabeth with him - but I know he loves you far above us. You were here before us, you," she smiled a bit at the bitter memory, "you found us in our darkest times."

"I have a knack of doing that," Sebastian mused. "And you all in turn helped me from a dark time as well. Mey-Rin," he sighed her name like they were intimate. "You don't know how much you alone have helped me grow into the being I am now."

The sad look in his eyes, passing over his face, made her lean into him, wrapping her arms around his strong shoulders and sighed. She wanted to comfort him, take him back to a happy place. It must have caught him off guard because he slowly wrapped his arms around her as well. She stiffened a bit; if anyone found them they would think such improper thoughts! She tried to pull back, but Sebastian's chuckle and strong hands on her back made her stay.

"The light is dying, and the air is getting a bit of a cold. No one will venture out here," he muttered into her ear. "And if they do, well…."

"You are not afraid they will assume something more than we are friends?"

She could hear the wide smile as he turned into her hair and whispered, "I could only hope they thought us more than friends."


	2. Chapter 2

_February 1892_

Mey-Rin's hands glided over the starched white sheets. She was smoothing them so they hung perfectly, dried perfectly. Crisp. She liked things neat and tidy. Sure and controlled. Deep down she couldn't be too far from her past, the past that knew how to train a gun and detonate explosives. She and Bard would sit in the garden and swap detonation pattern stories when they ran out of things to say. They had many conversations about weapons over the years. Bard had even bought her several guns to show her different techniques. She was able to sight anything, shoot anything, and had impressed the war veteran. She had been a sniper; it was her sharp eyesight that had made her a danger to the world around her. It was her ruthlessness and cold calculations that had made her a danger to herself.

Shaking her head she slipped the glasses back on and turned, stepping one step and bending and lifting the now empty basket. She counted the number of steps from the side yard to the back door of the laundry - 23. And she placed the basket on the side table - 5 from the door, left. And she closed the door to the laundry and walked the 147 steps to the kitchen. She had memorized each step, each part, the whole house. But she didn't memorize how quiet it was now that Mister Sebastian and the young master were gone. She ripped off her glasses and slipped them in her apron and punched the wall in despair. She cringed. It had been four months since they had gone. Since Mister Sebastian had slipped into her room, the middle of the night, a trunk full of guns. Had sat on her bed and had held her while she cried. Had kissed her.

Mey-Rin punched the wall again and let the tears drip down her face. She didn't have to wear anything to disguise the naked emotions that even Finny avoided seeing in her. He would cry in the corner for a few hours, twisting the handkerchief their young master had given him before he too took off. Bard would grunt out something and leave, Tanaka would make a cup of tea and quietly slide it in front of her, usually eliciting another round of tears.

"Please stop, Mey-Rin," the old butler's soft voice now came. "Your hand is broken, and there is a blood spot dirtying the fine wall, not to mention the plaster is rather broken as well."

"No one cares what happens because no one is doing anything to fix this! We were trusted to keep the young master safe, and he leaves. He leaves! We did our best, I know the line, but he still left and we can't find him. We can't find either one!"

She slid down the opposite wall, past her breaking point, her front of being able to move through the motions of the normal day - which all of them knew was shown for the others benefits only - was now gone in the small hole she now angrily stared at. It seemed to mock her; if she wasn't now feeling the stabbing pain of her hand, she would have put a bigger hole in the wall. Bard had re-plastered several along the same hallway over the past months.

"I will make tea, and I will also bring the bandages. You, my dear, are in need of clarity. And we need to talk," the old man said finally. "Meet me in the young master's study."

She weakly nodded and slowly got up, nursing her hand. She walked into the small bathroom and ran her hand under the water, carefully holding her broken left hand in her right one, watching the blood and plaster dust swirl around the drain. Like her emotions. Like her life. Like her memories of the night that she didn't want to come as soon as Mister Sebastian had told her in the garden. She closed her eyes, picturing them on the bench, her head on his shoulder, arms around each other, comforting. And then he turned and kissed her temple. And she had pulled back and he had held her face. His eyes… soft and calm as they held her gaze.

Turning off the water she stared at her reflection, searching to find the sure imprint of his gloved hands on her cheeks. Sure they would be there even under her blush. His fiery touch, his light sweep of a thumb, the gentle rest of their lips on each others.

"I need you to watch over the young master. I will be leaving for… a while," he had said the last time they saw each other. Before the kiss. "I trust you. With what I care about the most - the young master, the staff, this family we both have found and formed. I will come back. I promise. I may not be… able to for sometime, but please, know I will fight to come back."

He had kissed her, and she him. And she had watched from the servant's window, under the roof, as his figure, dressed in black, so tall and strong, soon disappeared into the trees that shielded Phantomhive Manor from the rest of the world. She had walked slowly to the young master's bedroom, finding Tanaka there. And she had silently stood guard, her fingers on the cool metal of the guns he had handed her. Her back straight, her eyes watering, and her mind confused.

And now she stood in the young master's study, once more confused. Tanaka took her hand and wrapped it in gauze, tying the ends and tucking it delicately into the wrapping. He dunked his hands in to a bowl and sprinkled some water on the freshly wrapped gauze, and Mey-Rin could feel a small tingling in her hand, and it went numb. He smiled and patted her shoulder lightly and walked over to the seats, bent and took the tea pot and poured it into a pair of cups from the households' fine china set, one of the ones they used for important company. He held a tight smile as he swept his hand to indicate she should sit in the fine upholstery seats, before sitting in the opposite one. He calmly eyed her as she took the cup and delicately smelled the aroma: blackberries and a hint of orange. A fine blend that they had put on the market shortly before the young master had taken off after his butler.

"Mey-Rin," Tanaka started as he settled into the chair, as if he and it were comfortable and familiar with one another. "You know that this has been a hard few months of us searching and using our vast network to find both the young master and Mister Sebastian. They are not lost."

Mey-Rin started and slide the tea cup from her right hand on to the low table as quickly as she could; the last thing she wanted was for them to come back and one less cup be in the collection. "What?" she breathed. "But we haven't heard from anyone who knows anything."

"I have."

She stared at the older man and felt herself tighten in anger. "You have."

"Yes, I have heard from Mister Sebastian himself."

She launched to her feet, her broken left hand forgotten as she walked quickly and leaned into his face, her hands resting on his shoulders. "What?"

"An associate of his came by the other day; you were in London with the arms dealer. He gave us letters. I am sorry I didn't tell you as soon as you came back, but you seemed especially agitated and once I read my letter, I needed you in a different frame of mind."

"I broke my hand because I am sick with worry about them! And you have a letter?" Mey-Rin paced now in front of the very desk she had seen the young master do the same movements. She held her hand as she turned to face the old butler. "Do you have the letters?"

"I burned mine, as per instructions. But," he stood and reached into his tailcoat, "this is for your eyes only. Mey-Rin," he said softer. "I don't know what the extent of your relationship with Mister Sebastian was, and I don't mettle in the affairs of the heart among staff, but I know from what he wrote in my letter, he is trying to come back and bring the young master back as badly as you - all of us - wish him too. I know Lady Elizabeth will not set foot in the Manor until her betrothed is delivered. I know many people are needing them both back, so please, when you read your letter, please remember he loves you. He… loves you in a way he doesn't love us."

Mey-Rin stared at the letter, her right hand clenching the envelope, and she slowly looked up, trying to sort the meaning of the words, wanting nothing more than to run to her room, rip the envelope open and devour each word he wrote. Give her a direction. Give her hope.

"Loves me?" she finally said, the words settling in her mind. That word had so many meanings… what did it mean to him?

"Yes, young girl, he _loves_ you. So if he writes anything that is frightening in the letter, please remember that."

Her cheeks burned and she felt the memory of his soft lips on hers once more. She nodded and Tanaka slipped his hand away, and Mey-Rin brought the letter to her chest, folding her hands as best she could over it, as if she had to protect it at all costs. She smiled even as the tears slipped out of her eyes and turned slowly and walked out of the study, up the grand stairs, and up the back stairs, and into her quarters. Sinking into the very bed Mister Sebastian had held her last, had touched her last, had kissed her last, she lit another lamp and stared at the envelope, both scared and hopeful.

She finally slid her right hand under the flap and pulled the folded sheets of paper out.


	3. Chapter 3

_October, 1891_

Sebastian sat in his chair, in his room under the roof of the Phantomhive Manor, and watched the sun peak over the horizon and begin to chase the dark night away. He loved the illusion of the night fading and the light chasing it. He smiled. Even more was it a symbol of his own relationship to the humans he surrounded himself with. He was darkness, they were light. And a few of them chased him. He steepled his fingers, his contract mark catching his eyes. Ah yes, a few more of them he chased as well. He had nibbled a few of them along his chase, and he had consumed many more than he could recall. But this time he was not hasty, was not thoughtless, was not simply taking. He wanted the soul of Ciel Phantomhive to gush over his lips, like the finest cured wines, and to enjoy the slow torture of this existence, of their ignorance at the depth of what he was.

Going to the window he pulled the curtains, letting in a small patch of the light that was quickly consuming the sky. He would soon have to return to his duties, his butler duties, and forget his other duties - the ones that made him slip into London's unsavory places and do his demonic duties. Ply his trade and slate his hunger, just a little. Just enough to keep him and the others safe. Just enough to keep his common demons at bay. He had strayed, he knew. He had stayed too long, he knew. He had not taken something that he should have taken, and he knew even as the other pair of reddened eyes watched him from the dark, accepted the souls captured by him, fed a little on the corners of society, he knew that they knew.

He shoved a hand into his hair and raked it to perfection. His whole being was perfect. Perfectly alluring. Perfectly killer. Perfectly tempting. And he had taken advantage of that all his lives. All the times a human looked at him and sighed that longing sigh, muttered about how handsome he was, whispered in their beds at the memory of his face. Sebastian Michaelis was built to be a woman's dream and a whore's nightmare. He was built to take, never give, and he took mercilessly. But now… the Phantomhive staff was stirring and he turned a bit, waiting. Anticipating. Longing. A tug at the way he wanted to simply watch them. All the things he was not supposed to feel. But was. Did. Mercilessly did he feel them.

He moved to place his hands on his door, knowing the ex-assassin he had watched become a mousy maid in his presence, become blinded because the young master asked her too, became an object of too many of his own musings, was almost standing there, waiting.

"Mey-Rin," he sighed.

"Mister… Mister Sebastian?" a small voice answered, startled.

He blinked and smiled slowly; he thought he had detected that her hearing was suburb as well. "Yes, I am here."

"I… I wanted to thank you for yesterday," she said, shyly. "I… never thought to ask how you felt about possibly leaving."

"My dear, that is not what you were about to say," he whispered back. A quick smile and his hand resting on the knob made him long to see her, not be separated. But that would mean he might scare her, but he longed to hear her secrets. He knew all the others secrets, but had given her privacy when he listened to them talk, particularly when she was alone.

"No, it's not," she said softly. "I never thought to ask you how you felt about me." She took a deep breath and he imagined she was red from embarrassment. "I know you think I am clumsy because of my glasses… but… well…"

He opened the door a crack and peered out at her. A smile slowly graced her lips as she saw him looking down at her. "Come in," he invited and widened the door so she could slip beside him. She looked around and he longed to pull her in, cover her with his being, his arms, his mouth, his body, but he stilled as she quickly ducked her head and slipped past him. He noted her glasses were in her hair.

"Oh," she said, suddenly turning away from him.

"What is the matter?"

"Your… your shirt - I mean… no shirt…. I swear I wasn't looking at you like that, Mister Sebastian!"

He looked down and smiled. He had gotten half dressed and had burned the bloodied shirt from the previous night. Sebastian smiled again and merely took a new one out of the closet and shrugged it on, but did not bother to button it. He wanted to tease her, test her, see where she would draw the line. His own mind wished to sink into the blush on her cheeks, the innocence she was showing. He closed his eyes a bit, licking the air with anticipation of the delicious feelings he was eliciting - would further elicit even.

"Better?"

She turned and her eyes were once more wide, once more drinking in his hard body, and she blushed. "I suppose it will do."

"You were telling me something before I asked you into my room," Sebastian prompted.

"I… I know this is out of place, but… IthinkIhavelovedyouforalongtime."

Their eyes locked and Mey-Rin finally tried to run to the door, only to find he had seemingly materialized in front of her. Being able to move faster than a human could blink had its advantages. And he now was gently smiling at her as she bumped into his chest, her hands on his naked skin, burning the feeling of it into his memory. "I know. Me too."

She sharply looked up and blinked. She took a step back and blinked again. "So when you said you hoped others would think us more than friends… you meant it?"

"Yes, Mey-Rin, I meant it. I don't say things I don't mean. I have learned I can't lie to those I care about the most. You and the young master will always have an honest answer when you ask me anything. He has commanded me to do such, you deserve to have such."

"How long have you…"

"Loved you?" he asked. Her quick nod made him laugh. "Ah, not as long as you perhaps. But long enough to know I want to never leave your arms. I never want to leave your sight. I don't want to go back to where I am from and face the questions I am going to get and not know if I have a beautiful woman who will fight hard to get me back now that she knows her hard fight for me to notice her is over. You have won that battle, my dear. I can't help but not notice when you are around, or have been somewhere. Your mind and wit are the most beautiful things I have had the pleasure to be around in a long time." His hand twitched as she stumbled back a bit and caught the edge of the low bench at the foot of his bed. He wanted to add things such as how she annoyed him in the best ways, how the weight of her body made him burn to have it once more in his arms. There was the delicate look of surprise and blush, adding to the emotions she was throwing off.

She was sitting and staring at him, her mouth moving as if she was chewing on his words. "Sebastian…" she breathed as their eyes met again. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know," he sad, sitting beside her. "It could be quick, but I anticipate a longer time."

"How long is a long time?"

He sat and looked at his hand, naked and for her to see. He didn't move them. His black nails and contract stood out against his skin. So different than his demonic form. So different than how he usually presented himself to her and the rest of the household. "I have never been summoned back home like this. I have volunteered to go, but never told to. I have heard rumors… a long time could be years."

She stifled a gasp and a cry, and Sebastian moved to place his arms around her again. The feeling and the motion so natural even so he had only done it for the first time the evening before. He rested his cheek against her head, carefully avoiding her glasses; she turned and buried her face into his shoulder, her right hand settling on his left shoulder, her left hand sliding around his back, holding him. They sat there and Sebastian heard the rest of the staff get up, and start their day as well. He sighed; his feelings conflicted between the woman in his arms and the young master and his home and his mission.

"My darling Mey-Rin," he said at last. "We must prepare the best we can for today. I don't anticipate today is the day I will be leaving."

"But you don't know," she said, pulling back and looking at him.

"No, I don't know," he conceded. "But I know today is a beautiful day and we have time to talk about this - all of what this is." He indicated them as he stood and helped her stand. "My dear, we have been at this dance for too long to stop and go home quietly. I will fight to come back. I will fight for you."

She placed a hand on his bare chest and slid it down, buttoning his shirt as she moved back up to his neck. "My dear Sebastian, you don't have to fight - I have been yours for a long time."

Sebastian surprised them both as he wrapped his hands around her waist and bent down and kissed her. It was a kiss to seal, to promise, to ask, to know, to let her into his shell a little more. As he pulled back he searched her eager and relaxed face and slowly smiled. She loved him and she loved the kiss. Her smile chased the darkness that was always swarming in his mind.

"I do love you, too," he muttered as he watched her walk out his room a while later. He shrugged his tail coat on and smiled again. "And I hope your love is deep enough for the day I have to call on that love and rescue me."


	4. Chapter 4

_February, 1892_

Mey-Rin had moved from her own room, down the hall, feeling like she needed to be with him, surrounded by him, in some small way. So she sat in his room, on the same low bench they had shared several times, several mornings, several more in her own memories and dreams. Her left hand went out to search for the warmth his body would leave when he got up, searched for the small indent his bulk left. And came back empty of both.

She sighed and looked around Mister Sebastian's room. She cleaned it on her regular cleaning days as if it was a precious part of the house, because, to her, it was. His comforting black coat hung on the outside of his closet, waiting. His pressed white shirts, waited. His black slacks, hung silently. And his shoes were polished, shining and eager to be worn. Mey-Rin roughly swept her tears away. Her focus had to be on the letter not on the first time - and then the many times - she had sat in his room. She looked down and flipped over the letter, his neat handwriting with her name on it, and a wax seal now looked back at her. Slipping her fingers under the seal, she lifted it up and unfolded the envelope so she could slip out the pages.

 _Dearest Mey-Rin,_

 _My dear, I am sure your nights are long and your days are longer, filled with chores and a constant guard up. I do hope worry isn't keeping you from looking after the Manor - although worry you will be doing, no matter if I was there or not. I hope it doesn't consume you and you can not sleep, dream, enjoy a moment of peace, that is what I meant to write._

 _By now, I am sure you and Tanaka are running low on leads to where I am located. I have heard disturbing news that the young master has also vanished. I am looking into this from my end, and I believe I will have him by my side by the time you read this letter. Please, my dear, do not give up hope in finding us._

 _In fact, I may as well write this now, instead of drawing out the long letter of how much I do miss you and how I long to be back catching you as you trip over nothing, or how our early morning chats always made my day go faster. Or how I miss the burning of your lips when we finish and we shared a chaste kiss. Or the last time I was bold and kissed you - not very chastely._

 _My home is unlike how I left it and I fear I may not be able to resolve this as quickly as I had thought. My family is demanding… in particular goods. In goods only you and your kind have. The kind of thing that makes me want you by my side to protect you because I know they will be coming back after you and our Phantomhive family. My love, I can't tell you how deeply sorry, deeply sorry to have to write them, not that I can not speak the next words. I do hope you can find it in your heart to be open and understanding… or simply accepting. I delay… so I shall simply write what I must._

 _I am not a human like you. I am a wicked creature that was created to bring in the most precious of things you have - your emotions and your soul. I feel emotions, as any creature, but differently. And until the young master and the Phantomhive family I created to surround him, I was sure I had no soul to call my own. But I confess, I have been making one from many different lives, deepening my emotions and observing them and craving to give them to someone - for some reason beyond simply doing so. I thought at first it was the young master, so broken and tender in his raw demand for revenge after his family was killed and he was kidnapped and abused. But he was too young to understand that revenge is not something to crave and fuel ones needs on a daily basis. At one point in my life, it would have sustained me and I would have happily taken his soul for the emotions he had._

 _But I don't want a single emotion in a soul._

 _So, I confess, my dear, I cultivated his emotions, as I cultivated mine. I experienced revenge, and I had my fill. I wanted something else. I needed something else - for me. My family wouldn't care - doesn't care - about perfection. Perfection that is balanced - a deep love along side the deep revenge. Supreme happiness along side supreme depression. A temper and a lover. All the balance in the whole world, in a soul. But I realized I had the balance - but not in one single soul. Each of the Phantomhive family possess the combined soul of perfection. The young master is greedy and haute, Baldroy is loyal and hard-headed, Finnian is loving and innocent. Tanaka, although old and I suspect a bit aged too much, is loyal and reserved. And you, Mey-Rin, is unashamed longing and boldness._

 _A perfect meal. In five souls - a winning amount any demon could be proud._

 _And thus the heart of why I was summoned._

 _My family has been craving more and more and they wanted the young master's power along with his soul, and I put off their demands as much as I could, helped him bring others in to defend him as well. And in turn I made you each a target. For years I succeeded in making you not important enough to see, but now. Oh dear, I am sorry. Now you must get the weapons I gave you ready. I hope you have enough time to do that before things become too much. My dear, I beg you, please stop wearing your glasses and hiding. The Manor needs you - I need you - to see everything. I need you to look in my room, if you already are not in there, and find the loose board under the bed. It has my books. Among them is an important journal and I need you to have it. I need you to protect it. The other side will be coming to the battle I am ashamed to say I have caused to come to your door. On the day of the reaping you will be clad in the cream dress I gave you, in hand the weapons, and close to your heart, the words I wrote long ago about a woman I wanted, the emotions I longed to give, the ones I longed to receive back. You must read them. No matter how hard - please, read them and know who I am. I pray that they don't sway you from the mission I hope you will continue on - the one where you and I meet again, and I can hold you like I do in my dreams. Because I do, and have, dreamt of you._

 _I have been dreaming of you for a longer time then I even let myself realize. A perfection all of her own. My love. My heart. My soul._

 _My darling, if this is my last letter, I must confess even more. I am a demon, a fowl, hated thing. The nightmares of which keeps children and adults up all night. The shadows have names and faces - like mine. I am as deprived as my family who wants nothing but destruction. I crave the fire. I crave the pain. But I crave your loving hands on mine and your lips even more. Because those are my personal destruction. It is what may make me worthy of saving from the demonic hands and given a life of continued impureness, but with a graceful pass to continue to live. I know it doesn't make sense, and when you read my books, so long written, so close to when I met you, please know my heart is in those passages, and my heart is safest in your hands._

 _Tanaka has also a letter, and should you get them both before him, please give it to him. He has his mission as well. I meant it - I trust you both. I love you and trust you._

 _So, my love, I know this last is hardest of all. Please burn this letter within 30 minutes of reading it. It gives you time to lament and re-read it. Otherwise, the paper will be consumed on its own, and could alert those who are watching that I have sent you a letter._

 _Forever yours, if and when eternity is met in our entwining hearts,_

 _Michaelis_

Mey-Rin did re-read and wept over the letter. Clenching it to her heart she ran to her room and threw it in the small pot-belly stove that heated her room and watched as the edges of the letter were licked by the flames and soon gobbled the letter into nothing but small puffs of ash and smoke.

She slid to her knees and wept in front of the stove. She wept for the man she had let go, for the man she wanted back, for the man who called himself a demon and yet was worthy of redemption - with or without her help. He was kind and good, was beautiful and hard, was loving and stern. He held the staff in fear and yet also knew when to take them aside and praise them for their jobs well done.

A knock on her door startled her and she looked up and shakily answered her door.

"Bard?"

"There is a storm coming," he said finally after he looked her up and down. "The weapons on the roof - we need to cover them. Finny is helping already."

She nodded and wiped her face, thankful to Bard to not ask why her eyes were red and puffy. She yanked her glasses off her head and looked at them. She carefully placed them next to her brush and the jewelry box the young master had given her the previous Christmas. She turned and licked her lips; the air was already a bit wet. She pulled up her skirts and squared her shoulders.

If she was defending her beloved home and those within it from real threats or the weather, she would do it like a Phantomhive staff member would - quickly and thoroughly. Mey-Rin felt the fat drops of the rain storm hit her cheek as she ran to the East wing, the tarps already being spread out over the roof and protecting the weapons she and Bard had stashed up there over the past eight years. She was sure they would face more real enemies as the last bits of Mister Sebastian's letter to her sunk in. She wanted him back - wanted the young master back. She wanted her life to be back, but as the rain now pelted her and she tied the tarp taunt, she knew her life, her former life, this one, all of it, would once more flip and she was hell-bent determined it would not crash.


	5. Chapter 5

_Late February, 1892_

The storm was a bad one and pelted the house for three straight days. Finny sat in the kitchen and stared out the window. His chin was in his hands and he sighed again.

"Peel the potatoes," Bard barked as he passed the young man. "They ain't peeling themselves. And you wanna eat, right?"

Finny turned and wearily nodded. "I miss them, Bard," the younger man said. "I miss having Mister Sebastian frown at us and bark orders."

"I can do that," Bard snapped and leaned into his face. Bard moved away and frowned. "I know, I miss them too." He paused and drummed his fingers on the table. "Perhaps if we make a special meal we can forget we are inside and without our head butler and young master."

Finny looked down and shook his head. "I don't think we will be able to stop thinking about them. It's been four months - almost five since Mister Sebastian has left, and then the young master after that. I… don't know why we are here anymore."

"Because Mister Sebastian and the young master will come home sometime and will want to see each of us in our positions, doing what we have always done - survived," Mey-Rin's sharp tone came as she walked into the kitchen. "Those potatoes need to be peeled and chopped. There is a roast somewhere in the freezer, make it. I will steam vegetables and Tanaka will set the table. We are eating in the master's dining room. It's too cold and frigid upstairs and it's our home too - especially as we decide what to do to find our missing family members. The Phantomhive house is too quiet - we need them back."

Bard and Finny stood, squared their shoulders and saluted her like they did Mister Sebastian when he barked his orders. She nodded and they scattered to their destinations.

"A fine command of the moment, Mey-Rin. A find command indeed," Tanaka said now standing at her right side. "Mister Sebastian would be proud how you have taken over."

"I don't know what I am doing. Am sure if I did we would not been only now organized. Five months, Tanaka, and they are gone. I… my letter…"

Tanaka smiled sadly and placed a hand on her shoulder. "That content was to make you remember you are strong. You are the heart of the household my dear. I am merely an old man who has seen his share of people come in and leave. You, my dear, will be here when I am gone. And you and Mister Sebastian will run this household with the efficiency seen even now."

"I'm only a maid," she said, quietly looking at the others busily working. "Only a maid, Tanaka."

"Only a maid was the woman who I knew even before this incident that took Mister Sebastian and the young master away from us. You are a strong woman and a strong minded one at that. Even if I fail in my task, you will lead on."

Mey-Rin turned to the old man and narrowed her eyes. "You were asked to do something too, weren't you?"

"We each have a role, my dear."

She regarded him for a moment and slowly nodded. "Yes, I suppose we do."

Tanaka slipped away and took the tea kettle and placed it under the water. She smiled as he slipped around Bard and placed it over the fireplace, insisting to boil the water in old fashion ways. "Makes it taste better," he had said when she asked him once. "It is only water, but fire brings out the taste more - boils the impurities away."

Mey-Rin blinked a tear out of her eye. She turned and walked down to the small storage room, gathering the vegetables she would use. Fire was what Mister Sebastian had said he loved. And it did boil the impurities away. She bit her lip and set her hands on the shelf and leaned into it. She had read the first few pages of Mister Sebastian's book, and fire was mentioned. A body in the fire, a soul in the fire, the taste of fire, the way it made him feel safe… fire was dangerous, she reminded herself. She had experienced some of it when she was in London, taking contracts, killing for money. A fire almost killed her. It made her more cautious. A fire had burned down one of the safe houses she slept in. It had made her think about where she spent her nights. A fire had destroyed part of the Manor she now worked in. It had made her thankful to have a place whole again. Never did it make her feel safe and pure.

"Mey-Rin - you coming with those carrots?"

She shoved a few veggies into a basket and walked back out to the hall. Finny was staring at her and slowly smiled. "I want a nice dinner. In case something… something happens," she said as Finny reached out for the basket.

"And it will be Mey-Rin, it will be."

They regarded each other and nodded, slowly walking back to the brightly lit kitchen, buzzing with the light conversation between Bard and Tanaka. Mey-Rin looked around at the men she loved. She loved them, but not the way she loved and longed to have Mister Sebastian back and lightly chiding them and gliding from one table to the next. She sat down and watched as Finny took the veggies and chopped, taking over the job she said she wanted to do. She watched as the three of them smoothly worked and she wasn't needed. She wasn't needed… there, at this point. And she once more slipped away, like Mister Sebastian had done so many times. She climbed the stairs and slipped into her room taking the big book of his secrets, of his neat handwriting, back out and sat before the light of the lantern beside the bed and she hunched over and flipped to the last page she had read the night before.

It was a story of him taking a young man into the pool of water and using him to summon demons. He took the man's soul and presented it to them, making them disappear from the village. 'A sacrifice to appease the gods,' he had written. And beside it he had added, 'the gods of the underworld - my self included.'

Mey-Rin closed the book for a moment and hung her head. Did she believe when Sebastian called himself a demon? Did she believe that he had killed a man for no reason? Was her heart beating for that man who talked about them as if they were food to be used and traded, yet also said he now keep them safe instead? She held the book to her chest again and sighed.

"I want to see you so badly, my dear Sebastian, but I am afraid how that will happen."

She blinked and heard footfalls down the hallway. Quickly she slipped the book back into her dresser, under her delicate things, and opened the door. Tanaka was smiling. "Dinner is ready, Mey-Rin."

"It will be a good meal," she said.

"The finest Bard has prepared."

She blinked and smiled a bit. "You mean he can cook suddenly?"

"Not exactly, but nothing burned down." He paused and placed a hand on her arm. "Mey-Rin, I know we should not discuss our letters from Mister Sebastian, but did he mention that there would be an attack?"

"His letter alluded that we would be. He said he may have found the young master as well."

Tanaka's face went calm and he nodded. "So we prepare for the other part of our missions - keep the innocents safe."

Mey-Rin sat down to dinner, looked over her families faces and nodded to Tanaka as he poured the port for the evening. They would protect the innocent. That was why Mister Sebastian and the young master trusted them. They were cool headed and could think through the mission, kept their tongues and tempers, for the most part, intact, to themselves, internal. And as the dining room was lit up by a strong lightening bolt, and the windows rattled a bit as the thunder hit them, she looked down at her hands, steady and clam. Like they were before the night of a kill. Like they were when she faced her enemy.

Like they would be until she had Sebastian and the young master back home.


	6. Chapter 6

_Early November, 1891_

Mey-Rin ran down the hall, the crashing continued and she feared they were under attack. Skidding to a halt she grabbed her guns from under her skirt and placed a kick on the seam of the door, breaking them open. She trained the guns and saw only two people - Mister Sebastian and the young master.

"What did he go?" she yelled at the two startled faces. "What…. What happened?"

"The young master was throwing a fit."

"I was not 'throwing a fit,' Sebastian. I was telling you I am not taking this bribe from the Viscount."

Mey-Rin surveyed the area around the pair and took a breath. She slipped the guns back and let the tie go, smoothing her skirts back to a decent length. There were shards of a blue and white china set all around them, and the young master took another cup and let it go between his delicate fingers, the clanking and the sound of breaking once more fell around them.

"Honestly, young master," Sebastian said, pinching his nose and closing his eyes briefly. "You could have simply packed it and shipped it back."

"Oh, I will." The young master took a platter and spun it in his hands and then let it go. "In pieces. Because the Viscount is a dirty," dish, "perverted," saucer, "menace." He kicked the shards and walked towards Mey-Rin. "I'm sorry to startle you. I was rather unhappy with my," he glanced back and scowled, "gift. If you and Sebastian could pack it up, that would be lovely. I have some china from the Midford's to place in that spot. It's much prettier."

Mey-Rin bowed and watched as her young master, a young man, leave. She stood up and scowled. "A gift? What made him smash every last plate?"

"Not every last one," Mister Sebastian said. He held a saucer and cup. He held out the cup and smiled. "I think it's quiet therapeutic to smash things."

She smiled a bit. "Is that why I broke the vase yesterday?"

He shrugged and placed the cup in her hands, his fingers brushing against her palms. "Perhaps."

She flipped her hand and watched as the delicate china fell, almost in slow motion and a plate followed after it. She looked up and met the eyes of the Head Butler and man she had been falling for - literally at times. He smiled and as the two last items broke, he cupped her face and lowered his to hers. His lips glided over her lips and Mey-Rin closed her eyes, not caring that they were in the middle of the Gallery Hall of the Phantomhive Manor, the display hall of century old china, in the middle of the day, in the middle of their jobs. His hands felt amazing as he tightened his grip, deepened the kiss and her hand glided up to his chin, along his neck, into his hair. She wanted to stay in the moment. But even as he kissed her again she knew. She knew it was a sign. A sign that he would not have much longer to stay.

She pulled back and tasted the kiss even as she looked down at his chest, covered in her favorite jacket, despite that he had several identical ones. She smoothed it over his chest and smiled a bit. "You know, don't you."

She didn't have to look up to know he nodded once. "They… they are bringing someone to take me back. But I will not allow them to come here. Not here." He held her to his chest and she turned and placed her left cheek on his warm chest. Closing her eyes, she heard his heart beat and she sighed. "I promise I will give you everything you need before I leave."

"And… you must go?"

"Oh Mey-Rin, we have been over this. My darling, I can't tell you why, not yet. But I do have to leave. And you will be strong, and find me when I call on your help."

"I'll always answer," she muttered, again, over and over she had told him she would. And over and over he would smile and nod, caress her cheek and they would leave, ready themselves for the day. But now, they stood, arms around each other, again looking to anyone who came in, like intimate lovers. She smiled into his chest; perhaps they were, just with some secrets. His were about where he was going, hers was that she loved being an assassin and itched to kill whomever was wanting to take him from them - from her.

"My dear, we must sweep this. I don't want you to do this alone."

"I can handle a few hundred pieces of broken china," she pulled back and looked up at him. "I am sort of the expert in the house on that."

He laughed and slipped his gloved hands around hers. "Let me help you. If this is the last thing we do, I want it to be with you."

She smiled and nodded, tears welling and she turned quickly. "I'll get a broom and container. Are we really sending it back to the Viscount?"

"That was what the young master wishes."

She sighed. "A cardboard box it is."

And she walked to a hidden closet, where she kept the household tools, mainly for this wing of the house. She hated hauling the items all around and was delighted to know that there were multiple, unused, closets. So she pulled a dustpan, and two brooms from the closet and moved back to the room. Sebastian was kneeling beside the shards and already had a box he was placing the larger pieces into. Kneeling down beside him she smiled and picked up some of the shards in her hand, like a shovel and let them slip between her fingers.

"They are sharp," Sebastian muttered as he looked over and caught her hands as she dug into the pile again. "Use a dustpan."

She looked up and smiled. "Yet you are using your gloves - they can slice the cotton and your hands."

"I'm mostly immune to pain," he stated. "In my hands at least. I feel a heavy weight about leaving you and the young master tonight."

She gulped and nodded, taking the dustpan instead. She dug into the pile and scooped up more of the shards. She let them spill and a few pieces broke even more. "Are you going to tell the others?"

"No," he said simply. "I have to make sure no one knows in case something… happens." His hand stilled her motions as she went back to dig another bulk from the pile. "I need to make sure the young master is free from knowing. He will be… difficult to handle for a few days. Or weeks. Or… well a while. We have… a bond and I know he will feel as if I broke my promise. Please, please, Mey-Rin, tell him I didn't. I couldn't. So I did what I had to do. To protect you all. To protect him. He… he is in danger and he only will have you and the staff to protect him. No matter what, please keep him close."

She nodded and bit her lip. His eyes were pleading and she said she would. A small amount of relief flashed in his eyes and he nodded as he let her arm go, and they finished filling the box. She swept the remaining dust up and dumped it into the box as well, smiling and giggling as Sebastian packaged it up with tape. He took a pen and addressed it to the Viscount, smiling back at her as he lifted it and they walked down the deserted hallway.

"Mey-Rin."

"Yes?"

"May I visit you before I leave?"

"I would take it as a personal insult if you didn't. No matter how late, please, wake me and say good bye."

"No, not good bye," he muttered as he leaned down and kissed her temple. "See you later."

She had been asleep when he had opened her door and the mere presents of someone else sitting on her bed had made her bolt upright and look at him. He was sitting stiffly, his mind made up, his task sure. He had turned his head and smiled sadly at her, and she had launched herself into his arms, silent tears running down her face as he brought her into his lap, brought his lips to hers, his hands on her waist and around her shoulder, cradling her.

"My dear," he had muttered as he pulled away. "I am leaving you with some gifts. I know how much you hate useless gifts, so there are very useful ones and one that I wish you to have when we meet again."

He moved her to sit, and he lit a lantern, and she saw a small chest, and opened it. There were weapons - rifles, pistols, bullets, and a gown. A cream dress was folded neatly between a piece of cloth. She held it up and gasped; the small roses and embroidery were delicate and fine. She held it and turned it around, a perfectly flared train would flow from her back and would sweep behind her a bit as she walked.

"Sebastian," she breathed and looked at it again. "This is… this is too much."

"No, it's perfect. You are a lady, of the finest type. And this dress is made for a lady to wear. The guns are for you to wield and chase the men who dare attack you. The dress is for me. I want to see you in it as you come for me."

She blinked and blushed, pulling it to her figure and looking down. "I have never had something so fine, Sebastian," she whispered.

"That's a shame; you deserve nothing but fine things."

"Please, stop. You forget what I was - what I do. I am a servant, a maid. I have never been a lady… a lady doesn't shoot people… doesn't chose a life of an assassin."

"No, a lady defends herself and those she loves."

"I now do that, before… before I was defending myself. And I didn't quiet love myself enough to find a respectable job."

Mister Sebastian moved and stood before her, his figure blocking the lantern light a bit. "My love, you are now a new creature. As I am at times. We have both been born into what we were and climbed into something new. There is nothing finer I can give you at the moment than this," he swept his hand to include the weapons casque. "But I will give you something more important if I need to." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I hope I never have to."

Mey-Rin placed the dress back on the chest and placed her hands on his arms. "I will cherish it all."

She felt him stiffen and turn his head, as if he heard something far away. He looked down at her and their eyes met once more. He sighed and took her back into his arms, the arms she wished she could keep around her as much as she longed to fire the weapons and feel the solid nature of destruction in her grasp. "I need you to watch over the young master. I will be leaving for… a while," he whispered. "I trust you. With what I care about the most - the young master, the staff, this family we both have found and formed. I will come back. I promise. I may not be… able to for sometime, but please, know I will fight to come back."

And he had leaned down and like in the afternoon, his kiss started off simple and then deepened. There was a promise in his desperate kiss, no longer a chaste and slightly loving glide of the lips. It was full of passion and Mey-Rin now clung to his coat labels, pulling him deeper into her body, even as his arms tightened and his hands spread over her shoulders, over her lower back, so close to inappropriate, so close to intimate lovers, so close to a verbal love announcement. And she let his tongue slip between her lips, and she kissed him the same back, knowing if he never came back, despite his promise he would, this moment was the one that would fuel them both to try to find one another. This kiss was the kiss of their eternal declaration.

Forever would they strive to be with each other.

And she watched, wrapped in his tailcoat he had slipped off and lovingly placed over her shoulders, smiling as he trailed his fingers once more over her lips and cheeks, knowing the jacket smelled of him and pooled around her small frame, he disappear. The need to protect, a fiery need to protect, settled over her and she slipped the coat off, had selected two new pistols and clipped new bullets to her thighs. She had squared her back, had sucked a breath and stood guard. Stood with Tanaka as they carried out the last words of Mister Sebastian.

She didn't find herself very strong the next night, and the second morning he was gone came and she stood still by the window. Tanaka had held her as she cried, his frail arms surging with power as he held her close and let the lover in her cry for her beloved.

He said nothing as Bard and Finny darted around her, and had said nothing when she came down that afternoon, her glasses up and her face set.


	7. Chapter 7

_March, 1892_

"Tanaka is gone."

Mey-Rin stopped in her tracks and turned. "What?"

"Tanaka is gone," Bard said, grumbling. He slammed his fist on the cutting table and swore. "Damn it. This place isn't already falling apart, now Tanaka up and leaves. So what, we just need to abandon ship?"

"No," Mey-Rin said. She shook her head and rounded the table and stopped him from punching the table again. Her own hand was just now hurting less as she flexed it. "Tanaka didn't slip into the night for no reason - neither did Mister Sebastian or the young master. There is… something coming. We know that we are here for a reason. We each have a unique gift and I wonder if Mister Sebastian didn't know this when we were found." She looked at Finny as he brought in fresh wood. "Finny is strong, and able to throw things bigger then himself, and further than we ever knew. Bard, you are smart and a tactician. You know how to place us and make explosives do the most damage. I can see things before they are visible to you and I can make my shots dead on the mark. We are human killing machines. Tanaka has a mission to find something that will help us defend our home and find those who left us."

Bard blinked and leaned against the table and smiled slowly. "Look at you, mousy maid to bossy boss."

She flashed her brown eyes at him and frowned. "I'm an assassin. Don't forget that, American soldier."

"Oh… she isn't kidding," Finny said, backing up. "I… I will do whatever you need me to."

The pair looked at one another and then at Mey-Rin. Bard smiled a little. He understood the longing to fade into nothing after having done so much - having taken so much. He and Finny both knew how to finally be still, finally be part of something that didn't make them have to defend why they were worthy of being there. They earned their keep, but just. Bard sighed and turned to lean against the table; each of the staff members - including Mister Sebastian - were unique and well suited for the tasks they were meant to perform, and took up for one another the ones they were given and stumbled on doing correctly. He and Finny nodded their heads and squared their shoulders; Mey-Rin was level headed and in charge.

"Good. Finny - I need you to go around the Manor and place the explosives that Bard is going to make. We may get invaded in a few days… or weeks… soon." She swung back and looked at Bard. "Now, drop the eggs and get on weapons duty. I will make us breakfast."

They looked at each other and left the kitchen to her. She sighed as she cracked the eggs. Mister Sebastian would usually smoothly make breakfast as they started their morning duties. She had swapped with Bard more than once over the five months to make meals. She had joked that they needed the flame thrower to do other things if it came to it. And she only joked with him about it, but planned in her mind how this day, the day should another member of her family have to disappear, would have to go to work on a another field to aid those left behind. She whipped the eggs into a batch of scrambled eggs and looked out the window as it sizzled. Tanaka and she had missions, far different from each other. Hers was to protect the young master, which she felt she had failed to do when he slipped away from them two weeks after Mister Sebastian had left. And her other one was to find Mister Sebastian, and there too she felt as if she was useless. She didn't know where his home was - besides in the Phantomhive Manor. She had watched him leave, and he didn't tell her a destination, only he would find her, or call on her to find him.

"I'll always answer," she muttered, as she turned and pushed the eggs around the pan. Turning off the gas, she lifted the pan off and divided it into thirds now and stared at the large portions. She shifted half hers to Finny's plate and brought them into the small dining area they used as their own. She walked out to the side and opened the door. Spring was now around the corner and the crisp March air was stirring a bit. Mey-Rin picked up a bucket beside the door and walked to the pump, dragging water from the well and brought it back into the hall; Finny and Bard would be filthy if they were burying the explosives Bard had made several weeks ago. She knew there were several already made, and they would most likely start with those and begin at the west end of the property. She once more pulled a shawl around her and ventured out. She stuck her hands into the shawl and felt two letters, one in each pocket. Fishing them out she stopped on the path to the side garden and opened it.

It was from Tanaka, saying he was going into London and the South Wharf, a lead he had found a few weeks ago had resurfaced, he would bring them to the Manor if he could, or would return with as much information as possible. The other was also from him and told her to go to London in the next week and contact the Undertaker. She unfolded it further and gasped; a rather lewd joke was scribbled with the words 'you must say this to him as payment' next to them. She blushed and put the last letter into her pocket, the other she ripped into pieces and placed back in her pocket as well, to be burned later.

"Deeper! It will be found if it's not deeper. We have a Manor to defend, a family to protect," Bard was barking. And Finny smiled and dug deeper, faster, and with new vigor as Mey-Rin found them. "Ah, Mey-Rin, two more and we can get back into the warmth."

She nodded. "I have to go into London tomorrow or the next day - the sooner I go, I feel the better. I have an errand to run for Tanaka."

"Oh the old man has contacted you?"

"He left me a note. He didn't say when he would be back, but he would be back."

The men nodded and walked a bit further into the wooded area around the Manor. She turned and looked at the great stone structure that housed them and so much more. It had been hit and repaired many times. It had been scared and saved, as much. She could see the faint outline of the new bricks and the new mortar that had been used as they made sure the structure was strong and secure. She looked over her shoulder and smiled; they were doing the same. She knew the young master would be out in the mist of them, yelling orders and grasping at straws if he had not left them to find Mister Sebastian himself. Mey-Rin frowned a bit. As the first to come to the Manor, and with Tanaka gone for a while, she was the senior member of the staff.

"You know, we have already lost half our family to leaving," Bard said, startling her. His hands were empty and she was shivering as she realized the colder air had a strong breeze to it. "I think Mister Sebastian, the young master, and Tanaka would all kill us swiftly if we let you die out here." She smiled and accepted the heavy coat Bard hung on her shoulders. She looked up and caught him eyeing her, a different look in his eyes these days when they shared a moment.

"Well, I'll make sure to pack heavy clothes for my trip."

"You will need a driver," Bard said as they walked back.

"No, I'll take a horse. I am sure Tanaka did the same."

Finny nodded. "I checked the stables when Bard said he was gone. Janis is gone. He loves Tanaka. You should take Pixies. She is a good horse too. I'll saddle her in the morning."

"Thank you, Finny," she said, hugging the young man. "But now, food. I am afraid it's probably rather cold."

"It's edible, so we will not mind," Finny said. He laughed as Bard scowled and grumbled. The two men took off, chasing each other and laughing. Mey-Rin smiled; the sound was beautiful.


	8. Chapter 8

"Undertaker?"

She peered into the darkened room and gulped; she did not like the darkened room and the fact she was in the gravemen's building. She blinked again and pushed her glasses further into her hair. Why was she sent here? "Hello?"

"Ah at last, the young maid of the Phantomhive Manor. A crowning jewel for sure if Sebastian's description is anything to go by," a voice said. Finally a dark mass moved and a lantern was turned up, and she was faced with a man in dark grey and grey hair that covered half his face. Mey-Rin took a step back and looked about. "And I can see why he was smitten by you."

His fingers reached out and his nails trailed down her cheek. She closed her eyes and tried not to scream. She always bowed out when Mister Sebastian and the young master would go to London and stop at the Undertaker; she hated the thought of dying and being placed in a box. And now, as he laughed a bit, she felt her fears were understandable.

"I have… have a … joke…" she gulped and opened her eyes, trying to search the face before her for his. If she could look him in the eyes… perhaps he wouldn't be so scary. "I have a joke for you as payment."

"Ah, someone has told you my payments, good. Well?"

She blushed and took out the letter and unfolded it. She glanced back at him and back down at the letter. She licked her lips and sent out a quick prayer that she was safe from any harm, not sure really who would rescue her since anyone who would know where she went, was gone themselves. But she sent a breathy prayer anyhow, should any harm come to her they would come as she uttered the phrase from Shakespeare's play. "Villain, I have done thy mother," she muttered quietly.

"Oh darling, do no be shy when you quote Shakespeare. I think this is from Titus Androndicus. A certainly lewd comedy in it's own right. So please, once more, and do speak loud," he added, a little laugh already boiling on his lips. "Ah… and the movement… please, my dear."

Mey-Rin sighed and looked at him, her face was heating up with both anger and embarrassment. Why would Tanaka write such a thing for her to speak and then this man ask her to do the action as well? She sucked in a deep breath and licked her lips once more. "Villain, I have done thy mother."

The Undertaker threw back his head and grabbed his middle, belting out a laugh that shook the room slightly. "Oh a good line indeed to quote, my dear. Oh, good one indeed. And those hips… oh, well… yes he would like that, would he not? Now, what can I help you with - certainly not your mother."

She scowled. "I am not sure why I was sent here. The old Phantomhive Head Butler, Tanaka, sent me."

"Oh, yes, a squirrelly man that one is. A good man too. I have a box for you - two really." He paused and turned to the dirty window and peered out. "I noticed you came by horse, so you may want to wear one and hold the other." He backed into the shadows and lit another lantern. "Common, common, we are not picking out your coffin, yet."

He laughed lightly as she followed him into a small side room, Mey-Rin very confused at what he was talking about. A box - two of them? Something to wear? What exactly was her mission here? She followed and tried not to look at things too much. As they passed into another room, a few crates and boxes were against the wall and he set his lantern down beside two boxes, both black as midnight and with satin black ties binding them.

"I was instructed by the Head Butler himself - Sebastian - to give you this and then these lovely black boxes," he added as he produced a black envelope. "Please, my dear, if you intend to do this, think about what future you have here, now. Not the one you could have. It's a nasty business Sebastian has dragged you all into. But," he added as he tapped a long nail against his chin and regarded her lightly, "even your young master was eager to pay the price."

"The young master? He was here?"

"Oh yes, he told me not to say anything, but now that you are here and looking for them, perhaps a drop of the tongue isn't a bad thing." He paused and sat on a nearby chair. "The Earl Phantomhive paid me handsomely to deliver him to the Underworld."

Mey-Rin stilled and slowly looked at the strange man who frightened her a bit. Her blood ran a bit cooler as she regarded him and his words. "The Underworld… Hell?"

He tipped his head a bit to the side and nodded slowly. "Yes, close enough."

"But why would he wish to go there?"

"Oh my, you are naive," he giggled. "A young girl like you, with a man like Sebastian, surely… well perhaps he is betwixting you into his trap. A man like that…" He trailed off and turned back to her. "He is a demon, surely he told you that much."

"He… he wrote that in a letter to me, saying he saw himself as one. But, Mister Sebastian is kind and good, he can't be a demon."

"Demons have pretty faces and delicious lies. But," he said, suddenly getting up and stepping back in front of her, so close, "your demon is a different kind of evil. He isn't really evil, but a perfectionist. A defective demon, some may say. He was called for, and he had to answer. He took his sweet time answering, so they sent a fetcher to him. I do wonder if he was delaying because of you," he added, his breathing in her ear and a small giggle sent a wave of fear into her.

"If Mister Sebastian is a demon, then why does he trust me? I am nothing. The young master is nothing. He must be powerful and not need us." She stilled and slid her eyes to the one she saw peaking under the mounds of grey hair of the Undertaker. "Unless he really wanted to protect us and our souls."

"Again, a defective demon. Not really a new thing, he has been straddling a fine line of demon and human for a few years now - a century and half, at the least as long as I have known him personally. I have watched him struggle and helped him dodge his 'family' - but now, I am in the cross-hairs myself. And I choose the highest bidder. I have to agree with Sebastian: Humans are so very interesting."

"I think I will take delivery of my gifts now," she said, moving back. She eyed the black boxes, one long and narrow, the other short and square. She looked back at the Undertaker and felt she had to make a choice, but that it wasn't really one to make here and now - it had been made slowly over the past eight years, slowly as she and Mister Sebastian had opened up to one another… as she read the one letter she had gotten, as she had read the books she had been gifted, placing the words, all the words - some easy and light, most harsh and cruel, changing as the book went on - seeped into her. He had asked her to carry them, help him carry them. She looked at them and the envelope seemingly burning in her hands, and then back at the Undertaker. She pulled the letter closer to her, indicating her decision. "Please, if I can?"

"Of course, of course."

He moved away and Mey-Rin opened the letter, moving back into the light. She undid the envelope in the same manner as the other one, sliding her fingers over the paper, not wanting to rip the precious material and pulled out the letter. Her breath hitched as she opened it, a delicate scent of burnt paper lingered and the first glimpse of his handwriting, her name so carefully written, zipped into her heart. Mister Sebastian… no… no not so formal, she reminded herself as she blushed and brushed her thumb over her name. Sebastian. Sebastian… as it had been in her mind, her private thoughts, sometimes in their private conversations and she quite forgot her position - his position - in the house. When it was simply Sebastian and her. She looked over the envelope and the pages of the letter, longed to keep this one if she could.

 _My dear Mey-Rin,_

 _My sweet love, please do not be afraid of my friend, the Undertaker. He is rather a strange man, I admit, but he is a good man - a rather tall order for a man such as he._

 _I have the young master, and he is well. A bit damaged, but is well. I am protecting him as best as I am able. I have sent what I had hoped I never needed to send to you, what I fear may be too much, but I know you are strong, so strong, my love, to take possession of these if things are going a bit bottoms up. I have sent what I can to let you slip down into the Underworld when you need to - please do not try to go as soon as you read this. I fear I may have stirred up hope when there is nothing but real danger, death my sweet, if you do come and there is not an emergency to do so. I know you will use them and protect the Manor if I am taken out and brought to you. I confess I rather you not come here; I am ashamed of my place here. I want to see your beautiful face in the light of the day and the light of the Earthly sun._

 _I hope that the books I have entrusted in your care have helped. I am sorry that they most likely have you questioning me and my being - what you thought you knew of me. I am sure the Undertaker took delight in your confusion. He is a strange men who knows much about both who I am and what I am, and what I do. Please, trust him and me. I am working to sway the family to come to you - I am angry to write I am dangling you in their hungry grasp. However, I am doing this to keep you safe. I trust you and your sharp eyes, your sharp mind, Bard's knowledge of weapons and swift calculations, Finny's strength and determination, and Tanaka's smooth observation and endless tea making abilities. I trust you… with so much, and in such a short amount of time, more than I wished to do. I had wished to unfold this all to you slowly, over our morning talks, our nightly strolls. We have had a long and slow dance to get here, to have our private wishes finally spoken. Ah… I dream of holding you at night._

 _My sweet love, please accept my gifts - a cloak to be used to evade detection by my kind, and a sword that can pierce the very being of a demon and kill us. It is not easy to kill us, so the sword is rather rare and precious. It alone will be a reason for them to come for you. My love, please kill all who present themselves and are found to be real foes. They will be bold to step into the realm of my protection - Phantomhive Manor._

 _You and the staff are my sword and my protection. I wield you as I am wielded by the young master against his enemies._

 _Till I am with you,_

 _Michaelis_

Mey-Rin folded the cloak and placed it into her riding satchel and placed the sword in front of her. "Undertaker," she said as she settled on the horse. "Will you help defend Sebastian when his… family comes for us?"

A broad smile spread over the man's lips. "I will be bringing some of my finest friends if you don't mind."

"I think Sebastian wishes to have an army to help take down his family."

"And an army he will have. I am not a fan of the nasty demons who roam the land. Sebastian's brand of demon is tolerable, others, well," he shook his head. "I am more than willing to take a few names and add them to my list."

Mey-Rin bowed her head and thanked the strange man. She had a feeling, as she urged the horse down the road that wound out of the city, back toward Phantomhive Manor, that a band of unsavory beings would be following her soon enough. She clutched the sword and the letter and smiled a bit. Her heart was with a demon whose heart was with her.


	9. Chapter 9

_April 1892_

There was a moment of calm as the day broke and the sun recaptured the sky. Mey-Rin stood in Mister Sebastian's room, where she had stayed and read the last book that was under his bed, the one where he talked about making a contract with the young Earl Ciel Phantomhive, who had been tortured and beaten, almost dead and crying for someone - anyone - to take him in and take him away. And Mister Sebastian had answered. She was sure now, not shy to say it, that her butler, the man who kissed with passion and held her quietly, was a demon. A human who had another name, another face. A man who was something she could not believe could be so wicked, if she had not read his story - all of the pages she could find - and read the continued longing to have his own place in the human world, not just in the Underworld. He was rather fond of giving a few souls to keep the family at bay, and kept a share for himself.

Mey-Rin placed a hand on the window sill and held her head in her left, leaning into the wooden casing of the window. Her hand was now healed and only ached at small moments; her heart ached much more now and the wound was growing as the weeks kept slipping past with only the echoes of his words - of his former life - in her mind. She wondered if she wanted to know what he did with the souls, or pieces of souls he kept. Perhaps it was the carving and making of his own soul, as he had mentioned. She had pondered over how he had talked about the Phantomhive staff, how delicious they were and how precious they were becoming. And her name was mentioned frequently. Even before he came and found her. That had made her blush; he had seen her and wanted to rescue her before she knew she needed to be rescued. Before she ever saw him standing in the crowd, so quiet and dark, so handsome and mysterious. She saw his face so clearly, and now understood the way his eyes shone when he first met her gaze - the longing of taking her into him, her Soul, and then seeing her as a useful object. All was written down in open candor. She wanted to talk to him about the way he had changed as she became part of the staff, became the Maid, and his writings… oh they were rather interesting!

"Mey-Rin," Tanaka said, pushing the door open a bit more. "I am making tea, would you like a cup?"

She turned and nodded. She wasn't embarrassed to be found in the Head Butler's room. She and Tanaka had come back to the Manor within days of each other. And Tanaka had brought several people who now came and went from the Manor on their own business. She had not asked, and they had not volunteered any information but they said they would help defeat the demons who held the young master and Mister Sebastian. They had their own reasons to hate the snatching demons. They mentioned a few times they didn't care for Mister Sebastian himself, but how he went about doing his job was acceptable and they could over look his being a demon. Many nights Mey-Rin would sit in the middle of the bed, the books around her, searching for what these men were, what they meant. Curling into his pillow and sometimes crying because she didn't know, feeling as if she should, if it would help her get him back.

Bard and Finny were also in the kitchen, nursing a cup of tea by the time she slipped on a fresh dress and freshened up. The men looked up and smiled. They each moved a cup toward the kettle as Tanaka once more freshened the pot with new leaves, and shoved a platter of sausage and eggs towards her.

"Happy birthday," Bard said, placing a small box in front of her.

She blinked and felt tears prick her eyes. "You remembered," she said quietly. She had almost forgotten herself until she read about how Mister Sebastian had bought the fine dress she had in her dresser, tucked away for the day she faced him again, and found it fitting to buy it on her birthday, three years previous. "Thank you," she whispered - not sure if it was to Bard and Finny, or to the man who bought such a beautiful object that he gave her under very different circumstances than what she imaged he wanted to. Undoing the simple twine, she lifted the lid and smiled. She lifted it and looked at Bard. "One bullet? You know we may be facing a small army when we try to get the young master and Mister Sebastian back."

"I have a few more stashed away," Bard said, rubbing his neck. "I figured you didn't want a big box of them laying around the kitchen table."

"Thank you," she said again. She walked around and kissed him on the cheek, smiling as he turned red and stared into the mug.

"Mine isn't as fancy," Finny said, now with disappointment.

"Nonsense, I am sure it is wonderful," she said, sitting beside him again. He slid a small bundle of flowers towards her. She lifted her eyes to him and let the tears spill over. "Lavenders."

"I know you always love to wash Mister Sebastian's clothes and sheets in lavender."

She hugged him and let the flowers sit in the middle of the table, crying for her heart breaking and the hard months that had passed as she tried to be strong. As she cried, she felt the arms of Bard and Tanaka surround her. Their strength made her recall Mister Sebastian's own sure voice of her being the strongest one of the family. Her heart burst and mended slowly as they held her.

A clap of thunder shook the windows and the company looked up, Mey-Rin forgetting her tears and her heartbreaking. They slowly looked at one another; the sky was still clear. Soon as they got off their chairs, venturing to the window and side door, the ground seemed to rumble, as if thousands of horses were coming. The door down the hallway crashed open and Mey-Rin grabbed her ever ready guns, as Tanaka armed himself with the kitchen butcher knife and Bard opened the cupboard by the sink and took out a machine gun. He saw Mey-Rin's look of surprise and he shrugged and pulled the safety off. Finny squatted a bit in front of them, and Mey-Rin knew the boy was concentrating and could take out 20 men before they knew what happened and before he stopped.

"Damn that was loud!"

"Put me down! Put me on my feet, damn it!"

Mey-Rin reached out and touched Finny slowly as she slipped past him. She threw a glance over her shoulder at Tanaka and Bard. Biting her lip and turning back to the doorway, connecting the dining area to the main hall.

"Master Phantomhive?" she called tentatively. She closed her eyes at the sound of her own voice. Did she not know her young masters tone? Had the past near six months without him in the Manor made her forget the sure voice of her Noble benefactor? "Earl Ciel Phantomhive?"

She heard running and a quickness in the breath of those who had came in quite suddenly and under much noise and hubbalu. She closed her eyes and concentrated; only two distinct footfalls. 10 yards, 5 yards, at the doorway. She snapped her eyes open and held the guns up, in case this was a trick.

But there, right before her, her guns trained at chest hight, the Master of Phantomhive Manor, Earl Ciel Phantomhive, 19 years old, betrothed to a very worried Lady Elizabeth Midford, stood. His hair was wild and unkempt, like he had been running for a while, and he bent over, his hand on the door frame, trying to suck in air as deep as he could. He lifted his head and smiled a bit. Mey-Rin turned and surveyed the servants and what must have looked like a rather rag-tag band of defenders.

"Dear me," he gasped as he held his side and slowly smiled. "All this for me?"

"Ronald Knox, Reaper," the man beside the young master finally said, pushing the young master out of the way a bit, which had Mey-Rin move her guns to site him a bit more; she knew the young master, this one she didn't. The warning from Sebastian rang through her mind as she eyed him over her steadily aimed guns. He flashed a bright smile and ruffled his orange hair as he looked her over and than past her. "So you are the Phantomhive Staff this one goes on and on about. Not really what I expected."

"Please don't taunt them - they will kill you," the young master said finally standing fully. Mey-Rin could see deep gashes on his face and his sleeve was ripped. His ever-present eye patch hung slightly from his ear, not as secure as it usually was. "Besides, they may need you once we deliver the news. Or the other way, not sure."

"I am very valuable - and I want to fight… so, perhaps you are right," the orange-haired man said. He pushed up his glasses and smiled again. "I haven't lost a fight against a demon yet."

Mey-Rin and the young master shot him a look, and Mey-Rin took a step forward, boldly lowering the guns a bit, separating her even more from the rest and met the wide eyes of the young master - Ciel - as he caught her look and her boldness. Something had changed in her, and he could see it as she shifted her eyes a bit to him. "Young master, perhaps we should escort our… guest to a different location to talk about the… fight?"

"Tanaka, tea in my study," Ciel said effortlessly, stepping back into the role of the Noble of the house.

"Of course, sir," Tanaka responded as equally effortlessly.

"Ah, Mey-Rin, perhaps you can tell the boys to stand down? Bard looks like he has seen a ghost. They can do their proper greetings in a while," Ciel said, looking over her shoulder. He refocused and gave her a small smile. "Please join us when you can."

She nodded. She wanted to ask and scream about Sebastian. About where he was. What happened to them - why the hell she held a letter, tucked into the inner pocket of her dress, near her bosom, that talked about the young master being in the Underworld. She wanted to pull the man into her arms, shrink him back into the young master - the boy. Instead she swiftly went back into the dining room and got tackled by Finny who was crying happily and babbling about how he would bring the young master the finest roses to welcome him home. And as he left, she turned to Bard, who looked at her as if he saw her for the first time.

"You know something," he simply said.

"Yes, Bard, I know something."

They looked at one another for a long time, the moments stretched as if one or the other should be explaining, as if the silence was explanation enough, and Mey-Rin heard Tanaka quietly moving around to make tea. Bard finally sighed and smiled a bit. "You are something special, Mey-Rin. A strong woman who has never betrayed her secrets. And you probably have so many"

"And I never will. None of our secrets. Besides, who would believe a clumsy maid, a man-child gardener, and a cook who can't cook? The only one who has an ounce of credibility is Tanaka. He can actually do his job without messing up."

"Thank you for the kind words, Mey-Rin," Tanaka said. "Please, if you will?" He held out the tray of boiling water and three cups and a few sandwiches. He smiled and eyed the cook. "Now, Bard, we must make the master at home. A good, hearty meal. I am sure we will have to feed many mouths tonight."

Bard walked past Mey-Rin and paused. "I'll engrave every bullet with the names of those who you are protecting."

Mey-Rin nodded a bit and silently thanked him, placing her hand on his arm before accepting the tray from Tanaka, and walked up the same steps, doing the same duty, as she had done six months ago.

She now pushed open the door to the study and smiled. Earl Ciel Phantomhive was sitting behind his desk, a stack of papers in front of him and Ronald Knox was sitting on the corner of the desk, twirling a pen in his hand. The two men stilled and watched as she effortlessly made her way to the free corner of the desk. She poured a cup and set it down in front of Ciel and smiled as he nodded. She turned to visitor. "Do you want tea? Do you even drink tea?"

"Ah, so you _are_ the one who the lowers like to babble about - a woman who has captured a demon."

Mey-Rin blushed, deeply, and painfully. She turned away, ashamed that her master was sitting right there, back so suddenly, and her being called out for a love that she had not yet declared. How in the world would she be able to tell the young master about her awakening from longing to actual reality of being in his arms, kissing him, looking forward to share her emotions, having them returned?

"It's okay, Mey-Rin," Ciel said finally. "Sebastian made sure I understood. I… understand." He looked up and sipped his tea thoughtfully and smiled a little as she set a plate of sandwiches before him. His gaze went back to the pile of papers and brushed them with his left thumb, once more weighted with his family ring. "He told me he asked you to read his diaries."

"Yes," she said simply. She slid her gaze to him and lowered it. "I read this morning of how he… how he became your butler."

Ciel unconsciously touched his eye patch and smirked. "A greedy bastard did that. My butler is not as greedy as he once was. Although, if you asked him about you," he lifted an eye brow and took a deep sip. "Oh how I do miss the British tea."

Mey-Rin tried not to blush any more as she smiled a bit; Sebastian was freely talking about her to their master was perhaps a good sign he was truly going to come back. She didn't have to fear what the powerful man could do to her - to her station and her position in the house. Would Sebastian defend her if it came to something like that? Would she fight to stay? Mey-Rin smiled a bit to herself as the answers were yes. They were now known to one another, and each other's private, or not so private, anchors, bright spots, when things went wrong. Horribly wrong. She handed the other man a cup and frowned. "If I may ask, how did you come back, sir?"

"Ah a complex series of events, that was orchestrated by those of us who know where and who to go to to effortlessly get things -"

"Shut up," Ciel spat forcefully, even as he sat his tea down gently. He turned and held Mey-Rin's gaze. "I was thrown out. Sebastian made some deal and I was suddenly top-side, in the Undertakers, and rather in a mess. I had to hastily order new clothes - which did not come before I was surprised by these," he waved his hand almost impassively at Ronald, "men. Who, despite what they will say, hate the demons more then they hate Sebastian. Who - as you both know damned well - is a demon."

Ronald shrugged. "We are conflicted members of the balance. Reapers like balance and order. Some more than others, but if you asked me, I would prefer a bit of shake and bake from down under, if you know what I mean," he added with a wink toward Mey-Rin.

She stared at the man and shook her head. "No, I don't. And please, stop before you try to explain it. What… what are you?"

"A nuisance," the young master muttered as he poured a second cup.

"A Reaper - a Death God."

"Like an angel of death?" Mey-Rin said, picking up a sandwich. Her stomach growled and she remembered she had a large breakfast downstairs untouched.

"No, oh sheesh, no. They are fowl things, and the wings. Feathers everywhere. Try to clean up that mess, and you will be wanting to kill them yourselves." Ronald said as he flopped into the nearby chair. He looked at them and sighed. "Reapers are the ones who take and balance the souls - so I can see the confusion. But we don't go around stealing them - that is why we hate the demons and angels. I hear they may be showing up for the fun of it."

"Showing up?" Mey-Rin said, stepping closer. She felt her hand inch down toward the guns once more strapped under her skirt, cool against her skin. So reassuring and constant…. Like Sebastian was. How Sebastian would be once more. "Who… who is coming? What is happening? How will we protect the master and rescue Sebastian?"

"Rescue? He doesn't need rescuing. He needs to be brought back here to the plane of the living, but not a rescue attempt. No, he will be brought with _them_. And we will finally get our souls back. Fowl creatures scrounging our souls before we can get them, or worse, making damn contracts with them," he finished, muttering into his cup.

Ciel's fists rattled the desk and even Mey-Rin jumped. "You seem so keen to protect me a moment ago, and now you wish to take my soul from the only one who gave a damn about me when I needed to be saved? Where the hell were you? Busy reaping the dead who Sebastian offered up to you?"

Ronald got up and leaned over the desk, placing the cup next to the pot and gave a small smile. "Before my time, mate. So I'd ask my boss when he comes. But with that attitude and that stain on your soul, I would say we gleefully reaped, and maybe tried to grab you before _that thing_ could."

"Get. Out."

Ciel stood with his hands in fists, knuckles white and digging into the desk. Ronald sighed and looked at him and looked down at the cup he had placed so finely on the silver platter and ran his right index finger on the inside of the cup, feeling it vibrate a little. He sighed and looked back at the humans.

"I'll be back with the others - we still have a lot on our books those nasty demons can clear. Take them out. I'll make sure to pass along the apparent request to keep Sebastian out of our way."

Mey-Rin stepped in front of him, a hand on his chest and a hard look in her eyes. "You come near him, I will personally take you out. And I can do that - even if _I_ have to sell my soul to a demon."

"A feisty crew, them Phantomhive staff… Nice to know," Ronald said, smiling. "Till later - I'll show myself out."

And the Earl Phantomhive and his maid Mey-Rin were left standing, both deep in their thoughts, both deeply troubled, both deeply determined to get Sebastian back as soon as possible.

"I can agree to one thing," Ciel said finally. "We will take out as many of those nasty assholes as possible. If the Reapers want them, fine, but I want a Phantomhive bullet in their chest as they get their delivery."

Mey-Rin turned and bowed, a right hand over her heart, a snarl on her lips and a deadly gleam in her eyes.

"Yes, my lord."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for following and commenting and just liking this little tale. There are a few more chapters - don't fret! - and I still have my epic!fic - Danny Hyde - in it's 4th (of 7) installments... but I will try to conjure the muse and have her give me more cute!fic... I think the Feelings series may have a few more installments to still be posted as well... anyhow. Just thank you** **guys! And never hesitate to ask for a request... I can usually kick the muse into submission when there is a deadline.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

The air was still and the moon was bright. Mey-Rin used her scope to watch the horizon while Finny and Bard checked the stashes of guns and brought up the cases of bullets. Tanaka was placing needed food and water stations along the large roof and Ciel quietly stood and scowled. He had received already a few more Reapers, some were excited to tear into the demons, and didn't care a lick about that Sebastian was one of them. They camped on the outsides of the walls, making their destained for Sebastian known as much as Ronald Knox seemed to.

And there were a few defected demons, who offered up to protect the Manor, and Sebastian, because they had found homes, happiness even, among the humans as he had, and this, this calling him back, this questioning him on his lack of souls he had in his grasp yet did not turn over, had them worried as well.

Some now stalked the roof, their forms shivering in the night, making Mey-Rin glance in curiosity at them, laying awake in her bed, sometimes sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at where the perfectly pressed black suit used to hang, wondered. About what Sebastian looked like - what he shivered into, what form was he really. How he would come and be presented to them? Would he be hurt like the master? Would he stride in and claim the Phantomhive staff, deliver them to his family?

"Mey-Rin, you need to calm," Bard said getting up and moving toward her. "You are flittering around like a bird whose cage is too tight."

"It is," she muttered. Bard and Finny didn't know anything about her falling for the butler. She didn't know when or how to even tell them. They all were fighting to keep the master safe; she was also privately fighting to have her beloved back. Their master was fighting to have his Butler, his… demon… back. She looked up and the moon shined around her, flooding her mind and clearing it. "Mister Sebastian is something that isn't us. He is something… more. Those who are gathering are also more. And… they know the cost. The cost is us putting the demons who come with Mister Sebastian, the ones who took the master, down. Down to the ground to never get back up because they are strong, Baldroy. They are stronger than us, stronger than what we have faced."

"The Manor is falling around us, isn't it?"

She shook her head a bit. "No, not as long as we stand and we do our jobs - or real, true jobs. You - assess and plan. Finny - you destroy and take them down as they come into the gardens. I will take them out with my weapons given to me by Mister Sebastian. I suspect they are more than simple guns, so Bard, you too will have some. I have placed them along the second and third floor windows. A trigger is in the hallway, and in the sand below in the garden." Bard lifted an eyebrow. "I am an assassin, Baldroy - a lady would not know such ways to maim and kill a man in such gruesome ways."

"Thank you for not carving me up like a Christmas goose," he said lightly. He lit his cigarette and eyed her. "You have more in mind than just defending the Manor, eh?"

She smiled and walked past him. "I have a home, a family, to defend. A ladies job is to do that. A wise demon of a man told me so."

The crackle in the air, the way the air shined and smelled… Mey-Rin glanced around and saw the movements of those coming to aid them, change. The way they moved seemed to be more determined. Tanaka's head snapped up and he met her gaze as he and the master walked. It was as if they were watching the storm coming in, far away at first, but now the clouds were gathering, and soon the night would be welcoming with a raging storm. One the whole gatherings would be ready for. Had been ready for for the past week since the master came home suddenly. She gripped the ledge and looked down into the garden, her glasses now never on, her sharp eyes taking in each movement, each shadow, each creature. Something was happening that was different, something would happen tonight.

She glided down the stairs and stole into Sebastian's room. She opened the chest and took out his tailcoat and best pants. She laid them gently on the bed and slid her thumb over his shined shoes, laying them on the bed, beside the pressed garments. Mey-Rin smiled; he would come home and find his staff, his family, waiting and eager to welcome him back. She stole next down the hall, to her room and took out the cream gown, now ready for her. And she for it. She slipped quickly out of her maids uniform, unneeded and unwarranted. She was a lady, waiting.

Waiting to meet her Master, her heart, home from an unknown battle field. Ready to fight for him, die for him. And ready to be embraced openly, and kissed as all could finally view the lovers, see the sprouting of two hearts entwined, even as Sebastian's last fiery kiss had promised. She touched her lips, so cold for so long, and looked at herself in the mirror. She was different.

Mey-Rin turned up the lantern and stood in the pool of moonlight that filtered in from the high window. She smoothed the fine silk bodices and the short sleeves that had tiny ribbons on it. She smiled and piled her hair up, pinning it, trying to tame her curls and finally failed to do a proper up-do, and had half of it cascading down her back. The skirts were loose, and she easily fitted herself with her hidden gun holsters, and even quickly fashioned her ribbons from her undergarments to pull the skirts up, letting her have free range to run as needed. She smiled; surely Sebastian had thought of that as well. And she stood, her legs clad in her usual black stockings, her gun holster holding them up, and her silk ribbons tied in a dainty and tight bow above the fine silk. The contrast of her profession as a trained killer, sharp eyes, and sharp tongue and the beauty and elegance of a proper Lady's dress, made Mey-Rin feel powerful.

"Power, corrupts," she muttered. As she turned she flashed a devilish smile at her image and winked. "Absolutely."


	11. Chapter 11

Her nimble feet scaled the walls and she swung her foot cleanly and sharply down into the face below her, and she continued on her mission as she heard the satisfying crunch of a body falling two stories. Her heel was a bit bloody as she stepped back on the roof and strong arms of Finny pulled her up the last bit. She flashed him a smile and he giggled a bit too menacing; they all were unlocking their hidden sides tonight.

"The young master?"

"In the basement with Tanaka."

She nodded and they tore down the East wing, Finny throwing marble statues and explosives off the sides, grinning as the screams of the wounded were floating up instead of their bodies. She turned and fired her gun, the weapons Sebastian had left, being light and quick to respond to her sure touch. It was like they were extensions of her, so beautifully carved and yet so deadly when backed into a corner. She never aimed and fired unless she needed to, and as she leaned over the low wall of the roof, she meant to take out the two leering demons that were crawling up the side, by the master's bedroom. Of all improper things! A Reaper with bright red hair and a grin swept around her and she heard the whirling of his chain-saw as it sliced the demons, releasing some sort of mist that the man then grabbed and crushed in his gloved hand.

"Thank you! I needed that one!"

She nodded and turned, startled to see a young woman crushing another demon in her hands. Their eyes met and Mey-Rin hesitated to point her gun, even as the other one smiled.

"You must be Mey-Rin."

She nodded and eyed the other woman.

"They are coming with Sebastian, you ready with your weapon?" she asked nodding to the gun in Mey-Rin's hand.

"I was born ready for this moment."

"A woman who has much to loose like I do. I have a human lover as well; he is why I fight. So many of us love humans for the emotions you give us. Otherwise, well," she shrugged and looked down over the wall. "We would be starving for souls as those who we once were, are now doing. Pity they never will know how beautiful love is."

And she leaped so gracefully Mey-Rin wondered how she didn't have wings, and then suddenly she was smoke, a pure black, and spread out and devoured the demons they had watched battle two Reapers. She was kneeling and licking her lips as she swing around and looked back at Mey-Rin. The Reapers crushed the vapors of the demons and turned to the next band of demons who were racing for the Manor, on the ground, far below, but still so close.

"Love," Mey-Rin muttered. "Is that all one needs to destroy a demon?"

She scanned the light sky, calm above but for the chaos now below her. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned. Bard had two bullet carriers strapped around him and a machine gun on his shoulder. He chuckled as he looked around.

"I miss the battle field when we are doing the slaughtering."

"I miss scoping the kill and knowing the satisfaction of another corrupt man is going to his grave."

The two looked at each other for a moment. "And you are a maid."

"And you claim to be a cook."

"I'll torch a pig for you if you want. A celebration of getting through this bloody mess."

"A pig?"

"Or a goat, I'm not picky when it comes to flame-throwers and food."

"I could eat anything you put in front of me, even if it's burnt to a crisp."

"There is a stash of apples on the main floor. Go, you eat, get some moment of peace in this. We got this," he added, nodding to the two demons who were helping, materialized behind him and twisted another body off the roof. "If I see him…"

"I know," she said. "I'll be back."

He nodded and she took off for the roof entrance and down the servants stairs, swinging open the door on the main floor cautiously; nothing had breeched the entry of the Manor, yet she still was tense. Demons had seemed to pour over the walls of the grounds, some getting caught in the hidden mines in the forest, others seemed to slither around on the wind, dropping into a more solid form all around. But they had an army of other beings. The Undertaker, for his eccentric ways, his cryptic messages, had brought fighters, had brought those who wished to defend freedom… or simply were tired of the 'family' as so many said, in a spat, as if the word - the meaning of it how Sebastian had used it for the underground - was dirty and perverted. She glanced out the sides of the doorway on the main floor, her fingers digging into the wooden arch and went to the table that they had set up as a meeting point and for food. She stilled; something moved around her.

"Don't be alarmed, my dear," a voice said as thick fog seemed to gather and envelop her. "I had to get away quick and I was rather hurt in the process."

"Sebastian?" she whispered as the darkness seemed to collide and struggle to form into a shape. And then, as if by sheer force of will - either by her speaking his name, or him doing it himself - Sebastian was laying on the floor, crumpled and naked.

She gasped, seeing his skin, the lashes and the bruises, and… she turned away and ran to the nearest room, the library, and pulled a blanket from the nearby chair and quickly threw it on him. She knelt down and gasped as she pushed back his hair, still long, and black, but the pale face of her heart was was paler and clammy. His skin so cold and she bent down to feel under his nose, over his pale lips that breath was even coming out.

"He doesn't need to breath."

She started and looked at the Earl.

"He is a demon. Demons don't need breath, sleep, or food. They need only the basic things that a demon needs - a contract and greedy soul." He slipped off his eye patch and Mey-Rin watched as it fell on the floor and flicked her eyes back up to the master. He pushed his hair away and she flinched a bit at the right eye that Sebastian had said in his diary he took out of greed, spite, and jealous longing. It glowed a low blue, but it wasn't pure, it was laced with something else, glowing brighter as he looked over Sebastian, even as his left, good eye glowed blue. He knelt down beside her, holding her gaze. "It's a wondrous thing that he took and gave. A visible place and a strong bond. Even enough to revive him, I suppose." He looked down and smiled slightly. "Common now, Sebastian. Be a good dog and get up. Your master is calling."

Mey-Rin watched as the master leaned over and hissed his command into his butlers ear. Her heart thudded as he narrowed his eyes and rolled the pale body of Sebastian over. He shook the limp body and Mey-Rin stifled a cry as his head lobbed back.

"Common! You want me - you want my greedy soul! You… need me! I need you! I need you!"

Mey-Rin pulled the young man, now screaming at the limp body, off him and away. She pulled him into her arms and she pulled his head on her shoulder, shielding him from the obvious dead body of the man they both loved.

"He did the best he could… maybe… maybe he needs rest," she muttered into his hair, her sight blurring even as she said it. "Please, master, you need to go back below and go back to safety. That is what Mister Sebastian would want. You need to remember he traded something to get you here. Please, please, Earl Phantomhive, don't make that sacrifice in vain. Get down to the cellar and don't come back out," she said, the force in her voice making him still as she held his head and stared into his eyes, one scared and the other full of pain. "Please. Go."

And he stumbled up and walked slowly to the door, Tanaka nodded and wrapped a coat around the shivering man who was almost instantly transformed back into a small boy. As the door closed she turned back to the crumpled body and crawled to Sebastian, her hands gripping his legs, still feeling powerful, his arms, resting across his chest, strong and firm. And she moved over him, cradling his body and bend down, her tears pouring over her cheeks. She heard so many things: the rapid fire of guns, the explosives, the yells, and the windows rattled. She closed her eyes and bent over the broken body of her strong man who had finally took her heart in his hands and cradled it as if it was precious. A gift she never gave anyone. And in return, she would not accept the broken body of a man whose travels and adventures he had trusted her eyes to read. The thousands of people who he had met, the few who had touched him. The times he had escaped, and those he placed in danger. This was not how a strong man like that would go.

She pressed her lips to his forehead. To his cheek. To his lips. She pushed her breath into him and willed him to kiss her back. Willed his arms to embrace her. The window shattered and she jerked up, pulling him towards her, protecting him as she had done the young master. She blinked and focused on the small shards of glass that now littered the front hall.

"That will not do, at all. I swept this place - I polished this floor! I cleaned this house to make it perfect!" She surged up and dragged her fine dress up around her, and stepped over the broken body of Sebastian. She kicked the glass away, grabbing the boxed food and covered dishes and walked them to a farther table. There was a surge of strength as she walked back, kicking the glass away and flipped the table, protecting the broken butler who still had not moved.

"You better be healing," she growled as she dragged him, tucking the blanket around him as best as she could. "Because if you came in here to die in front of me, I will take that sword you gave me and plunge it into your cold, dead, demonic heart. Don't die - bastard. Don't. You. Be. Dead."

There was a light that surged and Mey-Rin fell forward, over his chest, over his face, her hands over his head, her nose brushing his, her eyes closed and her heart screaming. She felt a hand on her back and flip her over, and she screamed, opened her eyes and stared into the most lovely red eyes she had ever seen.

"Oh dear, that took longer than I had anticipated. And I seem to have scared you more than I had planned."

She blinked and beat on his chest. "You bastard! You were dead! You were playing dead! You hurt the young master! Oh dear gods above you are a horrible… horrible-"

"Demon? Yes, I know." He held her close and she could smell his flesh as he sighed into her ear. "I am sorry for that. All of the time I spent away, making you worry. I had to send the young master back before I could escape, assure he would be out of the way from my family - they desire too much, demand too much." He pulled back and smiled a bit. "But I desire and demand more."

Mey-Rin licked her lips and shut her eyes as another flash lit up the grand hall. She felt his hands on her head and pulled her closer to his chest. She opened her eyes and saw his naked milky throat close to her mouth and saw him move as he took a breath, heard his heart beating deep in his strong body. She reached up and embraced him and kissed him lightly, making him curl and look down, his eyes lighting up as he dragged her lips up to his. It was as if their own moment sheltered them from the outside world, the outside battle. In her heart, as he dragged her closer and deeper into his body, there was nothing going on but the two of them. She had won - her lover, her heart, her body, her soul, was hers and his as needed. And Sebastian was back where he needed to be. In the Phantomhive Manor. Near the young master. Near all those who loved him. And most importantly, in her arms.


End file.
